The Baby Whisperer

Addy - honestly, there has never been much whisper to you girl.  You seem to have one volume (sort of like your dad and aunt Jodi) but when it comes to babies - you named yourself the Baby Whisperer.  And honestly, you are pretty good at it!!

You have loved babies since you were a baby.  When you were even just 18 months old, as we walked through the grocery store you would point and yell "BABY" at any human under 2 years old.

This is you with Barrett Roy - you just can't get enough of babies.

When you were 4 you were diagnosed with a bladder condition (it has a really big medical name but in common terms it's called Bladder Reflux) and you had 5 urinary/kidney infections starting at 9 months old up to 4 years old.  That's a lot - according to the doctors.  We were told to meet with a specialist at John Hopkins because that many infections could very well mean significant kidney damage which has long terms effects especially for girls relating to future child births.  We headed down to Baltimore to meet Dr Gearhart for the first time and all I could think about was the my baby who loves babies may never be able to have babies (worst case scenarios - trust me as a mom, you go there a lot to prepare yourself).  I was praying to God as we drove along.  We got there and parked the car, as you were getting out you said to me and daddy (unprompted) "I want to have about 10 kids but I really don't want them to come out of my belly, is that ok?".  I admit, I cried.  Thank you God for the answer to my prayers.  I said (as soon as I had myself together) "You bet that's ok, adoption is a wonderful thing."  Now here we are 4 years later and your bladder problems are completely fixed.  In Dr. Gearhart's words - "the fact that she doesn't have significant damage is a miracle".  You bet it is a miracle and I will always thank God for that miracle!!

Keep loving those babies Addy Jaye but remember, they aren't toys.  Babies are fun.  They are cute and cuddly.  They will someday bless you beyond words and they are a gift from God - don't wish yourself into being a momma too early.  There are babies all around that need a hug or some extra care until you are ready for the full time responsibility.  :)

I wish I wrote this....

I didn't write this, but I wish I did.  Addy - read this carefully some day (in about 14 years from now) - it's true to the very end.

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family. "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

 "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no mo...re spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine.

That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of Independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a ceasarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

"You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Ha - funny thing is that I sit here at the office with tears in my eyes after just reading this again.  I love you babe - some day you'll be a great momma, but be sure that you are ready for it because it will change you forever and you'll never regret it!!

Fruit of the Spirit

I taught your Children's Church class last week and we were discussing the Fruits of the Spirit.

This is a lesson that we should be reminded about daily. We are to rely on the Holy Spirit and allow him to work inside of us by providing kindness, patience, love, joy, self-control, faithfulness, goodness, peace and gentleness.

We learned that its easier to see when other people aren't showing these fruits than it is to examine ourselves. We also learned that its easier to show these fruits to others than it is to our own family. That's sad but true. We must push ourselves to change that.

Cade has always said that Addy is the 'worst sister ever'. I've always said 'Thats not true because Aunt Jodi was the worst ever and she turned into my best friend'.

Some day you'll be very close. There is no one more like you than the other one. Once you decide to stop competing and start encouraging one another - you'll be life long friends.

I love you both!

I'm sorry - God's grace

Hey Guys - so I'm currently flying back from Chicago.  I've been out here for a few days for work.  You have been in great hands with your Dad (and a little help from Hannah with all the directions our family moves in during a weeks time).

I want to be honest with you tonight.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for the times I yell when I should listen.  I'm sorry for the times I yell when I should hug and kiss you.  The truth is - we are all imperfect.  It's easy for me to point out your imperfections but I must be honest about mine as well.  I'm imperfect when I don't handle myself appropriately.  The GOOD news... we aren't alone in this journey called life.  We have a forgiving God who works to change us and to even use our mistakes for the good.  In John 16:33 Jesus tells us that we'll have tribulations.  He never promises us a perfect life.  My prayer today is that we can both learn from my mistakes and your mistakes together.  We are all born sinners and will sin as long as we live on Earth but if we learn and repent our sins then we are living as God has called us.  He is training us to be his army, to go out and minister to the lost.  That's pretty exciting when you think about it!!

So today, I'm asking for your forgiveness.  I can't promise I'll never yell again but I can promise that when I do I'll go to God and ask for his strength and wisdom.

I love you both more than you'll ever know.  You'll make mistakes in the future - big and small but through it all, I'll love you (even when I'm yelling or hurt or upset) and so will God!!

God's grace is amazing!!  Don't ever forget that.

English - oh boy!

So I never really worried about my kids education in West Virginia, sure there are TONS of jokes out there but I've loved the schools and the teachers so far and comparing what we are learning to family in PA it seems we are right on par.

HOWEVER....

As we were driving down the road the other day, Cade says from the back seat "Today was badder than yesterday". 

I said "Good grief Cade, listen to yourself".

Addy said "Yah Cade, it's not badder, it's worser".

I guess I better start worrying!!  :)

Cade's first dance

Cade came home prior to Valentines Day convinced that he needed to take $5 to school the next day to purchase a ticket to the Valentines Day dance. 

I said "no!".  He didn't know where it was going to be, who was going to be there or even when it was - oh boy!  Cade (and Aaliyah) were persistent and continued to gather information. 

Finally one evening the phone rang - it was Aaliyah and she wanted to talk to me.  Very politely she explained that it was a dance for middle school and under put on by the South Berkeley Elite cheerleaders group at the Inwood Fire Hall from 6-10 on February 16th.  After doing my research through the "mom channels" and discussing this with dad, I reluctantly said "ok". 

We decided ahead of time that 9:00 was late enough and that we would drive over and wait in the parking lot to watch who walked in (making sure there were kids around 10 years old AND that there were other boys going in).  There were so at about 6:20, we walked in and got Cade signed into the dance.  We also decided to entrust Cade with dad's phone during the dance so that he could reach us if need be. 

During the night we received a few text messages from Cade including this picture -

At about quarter to 9:00 I decided to check in with Cade before heading over to pick him up .

 

He ran out of dance moves?  Really?  I guess the boy can only do the sprinkler and the robot so many different ways!!

 

As we were walking out, a lady (chaperone) called to me and whispered - My husband and I overheard your son during one of the two slow dances say to another girl who came up to him and his dance partner "please, this is a slow dance and your ruining the moment". 

 

Oh help me please!!

 

Mom's lesson learned - she isn't really for dances and everyone is on a dance ban for a few more years.

 

Dr Suess

So today is Dr Suess' birthday and the schools are doing all types of celebrations including drawing contests, writing contests and dress up contests.  In the past Cade has dressed like Horton and last year Addy was a make shift "Thing 1".  This year, I just simply had no time or energy to get real creative.  I said "guys I'm sorry but I'm not doing it, I'm not stressing over it, fighting about it, etc, I'm just not doing the whole dress up thing".  We did talk about printing out quotes to tape to you each but I even forgot to print those out at work.

Big fail.

Or so I thought!

This morning as we were getting ready to get out the door Addy created a "costume"

 

One fish

Two fish

 

 

Red fish

Blue fish

 

 

You go girl - take that smile of yours, your awesome fish and go celebrate like only you can do!!

So maybe I failed a little as "super mom" with the no costume deal but I'll consider it a WIN for instilling some independence and supporting creativity.