Over a year ago, Pappy Hite went to Heaven. It was a tough few months leading up to his passing. In fact he fought hard for a years before that.
He left the Earth in a peaceful sleep very early the morning of October 8th, 2017. I didn't realize how much my world would change that day. For about a month leading up to that I prayed for God to help him - whatever God's plan was and I prayed that God would prepare us. I listened to the song Even If by Mercy Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y) trying to prepare myself. At the very end, I even say next to Pappy and listened to him pray that God would take him soon. But there is nothing the prepares ones heart to lose someone so special to them.
I now listen to Dad's Old Number by Cole Swindell - those two digits were always my lifeline - that man COULD fix anything. :)
We hurt some much because we loved so much and I would never trade that for the world.
I remember sitting down with you, Cade, to talk about it a few months ahead of time. I wanted to prepare you because I was so afraid of the hurt and watching my babies hurt. You looked at me said "YOU don't know, only God knows, mom!!" You were right, buddy. Even though we both knew deep in our hearts what was going on, we didn't know for sure - it was all in God's hands. As the days closed in and I told you that I needed to go up and be with Grandma and Pap I remember you finally breaking down. You started to cry. You were mad. You said "But he has SO much to teach and I haven't learned it all yet". WOW!!! I'll never ever ever forget those words because it blessed me so much to know that you saw my earthly hero that way as well.
Oh and Addy - you will forever carry a piece of him with you - Addison Jaye Miller. I remember when we decided on your name and how I couldn't wait to tell him! And then my heart almost burst when I saw him first hold you and look down at you. Those are the arms that I always felt safest in and I knew you were safe there too. He loved to call you, AJ, as you called him, HJ. Pap and gram were at the hospital in Johns Hopkins when you had your surgery and you were there will us when Pap and I had the bone marrow transplant.
We did everything we could to keep him here. He fought the good fight. At the end of the day, God needed him home.
I was in PA with Gram and Pap Thursday and Friday before his passing. I left on Saturday and came home to you guys knowing that was must likely my last goodbye. Sunday morning around 2AM JoJo called to tell me that it was over. He was finally seeing the face of God!!! I got out of bed and sat in the rocker for hours alone just lost in my memories. Finally I realized I needed to have a plan for the next few days. Cade was scheduled that morning to be baptized, I couldn't miss that. I thought about rescheduling it but decided to do it and then I would go to Bedford afterward to help with the service planning. I had no idea at that moment the really meaning behind this day for me. Ryan Miller baptized you that day and that words were EXACTLY what I needed. He said that TODAY on the day that your grandfather is in Heaven with God himself, YOU are making it public that you will also be there someday, whenever God's plan calls. WOW - I couldn't have asked for a better gift that day.
To both of you - remember these things from Pap:
- Hard work is always worth it. If you want something, don't ever just expect that it will happen and don't ever give up easy - work for it! He was the hardest working man I've ever known
- Sometimes.... just be quiet. Pap wasn't a big talker. Often he was pretty quiet but when he talked we all listened and some times being there in the quiet next to him was so incredibly peaceful.
- God is good all the time, all the time God is good. God isn't just good when things are going our way, he is there for us in the hardest times and most of the time it's not until the moment passes that we can really see the good in it. Just have faith that God will show us eventually and that His plan is the best plan.
- When you laugh - don't be afraid to let out a deep belly laugh.
- Hugs are important - bear hug those that you love. Make your hugs and handshakes count.
